—24/12/21 merry christmas yall. in all honesty, today was pretty good. my parents loved the presents i bought them, and that made me happy. for christmas i got a desk and a chair (im using the desk right now). the desk is cute and the perfect size for my room and the chair feels nice. there's two little shelves to put things on. i also got to build the chair and desk on my owm which added to the fun. unfortunately i have work tomorrow- a 7 hour shift, it makes me feel sick just thinking about it.
—23/12/21 im feeling too good. my drawing tablet came in the mail, so i was finally able to try digital art. along with thattt, visuals.html was finally created and it's so cute. i added a bunch of old things from my old website, and i can't wait to add more! my dad is still acting weird, but i'm ignoring it ofcourse... and school was shitty. there was wayyy too many people in my personal space today. typically i like school because i'm pretty isolated from the others and i don't have to force myself to react a certain way or whatever. but with all the people just in my space, the isolation factor wasn't really there, and i wasn't exactly feeling it. i distance myself because i like it, and i hate it when people invade that feeling of distancing
—19/12/21 finished work, exaughsted, don't wanna talk about it. i'm finally able to downgrade my mac to monterey today which feel great. i also wrapped up my parent's second christmas presant. my dad is acting weird, but i'm ignoring it- it's what's best. i can't wait for my drawing tablet to get here, i'm gonna draw stuff ofc
—17/12/21 sometimes i just be wanting to kill myself, not even gonna lie. life is hella exaughsting. i've been getting better with my eating habits, but idk- sometimes its hard to eat. like today, i had a breakdown over some chicken and rice. idk why man, it just made me feel so sick. anyways, i finally did my homework (which is cool), and i wrapped up the christmas presants for my parents. i fucking hate them, but i want to be on their good side so they can buy me stuff. anywaysss i cant wait for my drawing tablet to get here. i really wanna start drawing pictures to post on my website.
—16/12/21 i bought a drawing tablet today!! i can't wait to do some cool digital art to add to my websiteee. anyways, so today i bought everyone presents for christmas. i think i bought pretty good stuff... even though i kinda bought the wrong model lense device for my dad's new phone... but whatever lmao. i tried. maybe he could use it for his old phone though. yeah, it's not a iphone.. buy it looks pretty good to me. alsooo school!! im so exaughstedddd i don't wanna do it. i can't wait untill christmas break.
—15/12/21 Ugh, sometimes I wanna kill myself. I know like could be worse, but I really hate it. Anyways, now that I'm done being dramatic, I got a 96 on my geomatry test today. I hate that so much. Math is usually my best subject, but it feels like it's slipping, along with the rest of my grades. My parents put presants under the tree today. Almost broke my charger writing this lmao. I know that I'll probably be cringing in the future reading back at this jumble of words, and I'm fine with that. I wish the thumbnail for my website wasn't pink... I feel so dumb lol.
—14/12/21 Feeling, overwhelmed and tired. I hate going to school so much. I have a test tomorrow and I know I should study, but I don't want to. I want to lay in bed and watch tiktok instead. I should also go to bed soon, it's my bedtime. I really want to continue working on this website, but it's my bedtime so bye.
—23/7/19 well, i started recovery for anorexia... and im actually freaking out. i feel so fat. but its going to be worth it for my health. i just feel like all the weight im gaining is going straight to my arms and i am just not liking this. Also I made a post on my profile about learning to hack nasa, it was clearly a joke...but i am learning how to preform xss attacks on website which i guess is hacking, just not hacking nasa.
—28/6/19 the summer is actual trash. my mother is mad at me for not having a life and never going outside
—18/6/19 this summer sucks, i have to stay home with my agressive parents every single day.
—31/5/19
POTENTIAL DEVILMAN CRYBABY SPOILERS
so, i just finished watching devilman crybaby... and uh... the ending was so sad !! he clearly loved him so much !! but he killed him while fighting !! they were goinging to be together in space and l o v e eachother. but like, the dude was bad, he used a ton of people... killed a ton of people.... why is this ending so sad !! but this is a very good anime: it does a good job at bluring the lines between good and evil, it bascically gay (they clearly love eachother), and in my op the character design of the guy in the white coat (forgot his name) is very cute.
—29/5/19 stress induced headaches are annoying. poppy's new song 'scary mask' came out today, i love her 'metal' songs. —still trying to find happiness !!
—28/5/19 the mosquitoes are killing me, please send help
—24/5/19 I cant wait until may 29th, Poppy has been teasing this new song from what seems like what's been forever ! —Scary Mask !
—13/5/19 wow, my dad really just has me stressed out :/
—10/5/19 my dad really seems to have zero common sense right now...
—5/5/19 i don't know about this girl, yeah... i like her, but the way she treats [redirected] is messed up. —no matter how cute you are, if you got a messed up attitude, then im not falling for you
—2/5/19 white kids, honestly... my school is so fucking racist, i cant even stand it, the teachers dont even do anything when they see racism. —even if racism is a problem at school, i shall continue to do my best in life.
—1/5/19 this week sucks, major tests back to back to back and this isn't even finals week yet. —im suprised i didn't burnout yet.
—10/4/19 came out to my mom as lesbian today... she's oddly very supportive. —im suprised even
—5/4/19 they didn't forget —they're telling and showing new people
—4/4/19 political debates with the teacher, a student recorded it —im sweating, i hope everyone forgets tomorrow
—2/4/19 today i learned that if you only press the black keys on a piano very slowly, it sounds kind of nice. also, some cringy girls where starting a scene, yelling and clapping at eachother in the middle of the hall, it was so idiotic. —i guess nothing much today
—29/3/19 i went to check the mail for my parents today after school, and in the mail was a sticker to impeach trump. My mother said it was for her, she had got it online to put on her car to show her support for the impeachment of trump. —glad to see my parents aren't trump supporters
—28/3/19 a whole group of people got in trouble today, for vaping in school. i kind of knew they would get in trouble, but the way this whole situation when down left a nasty taste in my mouth... they were all called into the office by an oficer, and the officer asked them who's vape it was —he had found it on school property and somehow got word that it was their's— they said they didn't do it then they went back to the classroom. right after that they stole took their vapes from the one of the girl's(we'll call her girl 1) pencil cases then hid it. The officer called them back to the office (not beliving their story) then he asked them again and...they rated her out, all her friends rated her out and gave the officer the vape and said "girl 1" bought it for her— the girl got out of school suspension for 7 days— and the rest of the girls got away without any punishment— "girl 1" had messed up friends, and i felt bad for her.
—27/3/19 i wonder, is there a cure to depression? i've had depression for three years and im starting to loose hope. i just want to be happy- and the more i want to be happy, the more unhappy i seem to find myself. maybe i should pick up a new hobby or something... start learning bass again, or maybe learn the skateboard. idk
Just found out my crush is racist —28/3/19
Yeah I feel dumb now
So she just got a girlfriend... —24/5/19
That quick
Really...?
I thought I had time smh
She's A lesbian too?? — 15/5/19
Hunny, today, I found out that my crush was a lesbian, and she didn't even like her boyfriend (she came out as lesbian to everyone today, even her boyfriend !! and she broke up with him).
On my way home, I was smiling like a fool because I know I can get her. Because, first of all, im cute, second of all im cute, third of all im like... a really good person....
what am I kidding, Im stressed out, really stressed out. But happy because she's a lesbian but, im quiet. And getting to know her without seeming awkard would be hard
My crush —2/5/19
bby, you a hoe. you need to break up with your boyfriend (because we all know your gay) and date me. hunny, i know i ain't "thicker than a bowl of oatmeal", but you honestly... need me
Using homophobic slurs against me? —26/4/19
well, my dad is out here calling me slurs when he gets mad... like, for real. Your daughter? Thats kind of messed up not gonna lie. And seriously, just because I called you sensitive? So butthurt smh
Comming out story —11/4/19
I was on the computer in my room working on this website, and my mother walked in. She asked if I were gay. I was extremly shoked by this so I asked her why she had asked this question. She said it was because I was getting older now and she wants to know what direction I am going in. I joked and said I was. My mother was obviously upset because she was serious. So I told her saying this is actually harder than it looks, so she told me to just say 'b' if I like boys, or 'g' if I like girls. —I said g. She asked me if I felt a sense if relief and I smiled replying, "yeah, I really do". Later on that said that she also asked me because I was saying how ugly aquaman is when walking in slow-mo. We joked and she said, "but its okay when Wonder Woman does it? Just like your father!". I think im truely lucky for my mother to react like this... but my father still doesn't know (He might secretly know).