i love you, even though i push you away and treat you mean. it's hard loving someone as amazing as you. my ego's huge, but with you i feel like i have no chance. i wanna tell you 'i love you' so much, but i don't want you to avoid me if you don't like me back. i don't want you to feel uncomfortable around me [redacted].
ever since i saw you on that day (second day of september), I've loved you... and everyday life with you only gave me more reason why. but now i can't bare to look you in the eyes. im trying so hard not to love you (so i wont have face rejection) but i can't. every time i look into your eyes i fall back in love. when you look at me, and flash your imperfectly beautiful smile at me... i can't help bur melt, and it hurts [redacted].
seeing you with that other girl laughing hurts too... have i ever made you laugh like that? why are you talking to her so much [redacted]? have you forgotten about me [redacted]? perhaps not, because you visited me and stayed with me just the other day. i wish i had more in common with you, i wish i could talk to you like she does. but just you looking at me has such a a strong effect that i cant help it. i can't speak spanish like her, i don't listen to the same music, or even have the same life experiences... but i love you, and i love you so much [redacted].
i know i'm a little aggressive, a little obsessive. but it's really getting hard to live without you loving me. unfortunately though, no matter how hard it is, i will continue having to try. i'm living for your smile and those pretty brown eyes. but you're not living for me. i know there's a guy you already like, and i know you love him so much... but why can't you see that i'm better? i know that i'm younger, but i can still protect you.
why are you looking for love when i'm here ready to love you and give you my all? i'm here, i'm ready. And it's not like you don't like girls, you just don't like me. i'm just confused, because it's not like i'm ugly... I'm fucking beautiful. why don't you want me? is it because i'm mean? is it because I called you names and bullied you? well i'm sorry! i didn't mean it! i'm just a little too aggressive.
i'm ghosting you, i'm ignoring you. i fucking hate you for talking to her. talk to me... i need you.
i'm sorry, i shouldn't be so obsessive... that's not healthy. if you don't love me back, i will accept that and move on. you just weren't meant for me... god has plans, he has plans for me and everyone else. i'll just have to accept that you will not be apart of that plan
i try to ignore you for weeks, be here you are... flashing that same smile at me that caused these feelings. And of course I smiled back, every time you look at me I fall back in love. it's so hard to pretend like i don't love you, because just looking into your eyes is enough to fall in love.
[redacted], i may never stop loving you. And i know this will take a toll on me (you won't be single forever)... but i just can't stop, no matter how hard i try. when you start dating a guy/girl it will hurt me, but i will have to deal with that.
I should tell her I love her, but I'm just so scared. What if she does not talk to me anymore?... What if she's uncomfortable with it now? What if, What if?... I'm tired... i'll continue this later.
oh this is embarrassing. im obbsessed with you. it's been a year or two since we've last talked and i still can't get you off my mind. i need to move on.